I ended up getting this one done. Thanks for all the help. I got the jumper wires from radio shack and used a vw coil (still on the housing 😂). Went to key programming on bench, made sure that the existing key read on my coil, backed out and unlocked the fem using isn from existing key.
I went back to key programming on bench to see if i could get it done like that instead of programming via obd but when asked to put the blank key on the coil for some reason it would not detect it. So I reinstalled the fem and programmed it obd. Actually at first i forgot to put extra power to the car, it did not detect the key on the column either. Once i put 14.2 v, it worked fine.
When the fem was on the bench, i had my power supply set to 12v, should i raise the voltage on the bench and maybe it would detect the blank key??
I got the scare of my life on this one too. When i put the fem back in, I guess i missed a plug so when i connected the battery back the windshield wiper started going and there was NO lights on the dash. After looking at the fem again I figured it out and got the car running!